Edward & Bella Against: the Counts of Blood
by Lunnar-Eclipse
Summary: One day while playing with a Ouija Board, Edward and Bella accidentally bring the dangerous and blood thirsty Count Dracula and Countess Elizabeth Bathory to them. Their first-impression does not go well, leading the Count and Countess of blood to go on a wild chase for the two. But one things certain: two people are going to die tonight...and it certainly won't be the counts.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Countess of Blood & the Count of Blood

"Go on Edward, ask the spirits a question." Bella mused, her boyfriend, Edward, giving her a slightly worried glance. "Are you sure we should be messing around with the dead like this?" Bella giggled. "You _are _the dead, silly!" Edward smirked. "I guess I am," With that, he looked down to face the Ouija board that he and Bella were tampering with. "What should I ask it?" Bella frowned. "I don't know…think of something!" Edward chuckled. "Alright, let's see—will Bella and I remain happy forever?" Bella smiled, fluttering her eye lashes. The board moved slowly, and the word scribbled was: "Maybe". Bella gasped. "Oh my gosh, it worked!" Edward smiled. "Of course it did, but hopefully the spirits were wrong; we need to be together forever." Bella grinned. "Oh Edward…now it's my turn!"

She quickly took hold of the center piece, and scrunched her eyes—trying to think of a good question. "Is Edward the most powerful vampire in the world?" She looked down, and waiting anxiously for the response. The piece began moving slowly, and soon a word was written: "No." Bella grimaced. "Of course he is you stupid board!" She snarled, scribbling over the writing in anger. "Bella it's nothing…if you believe I am, no stupid ghosts can tell you otherwise." Bella sighed, and stopped her scribbling. "I guess you're right—"

Bella was suddenly interrupted by a horrible shaking that had erupted from nowhere. "What's going on?" She shrieked, Edward grabbing her. "I don't know," He whispered, and the room began shaking harder; causing pictures to fall, and vases to crash unto the ground with a _smash! _"Make it stop, make it stop!" Bella screamed, but Edward couldn't do anything about it; he was a goddamn vampire, not Superman. Suddenly, all of the lights switched off, causing Bella to scream out of fear. "Shh Bella, it's nothing," Edward cooed, trying to calm his girl. But then…it stopped.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Bella nodded 'yes' in response, her eyes wide from fear. "What happened?" Edward shrugged and got up. "Who knows…maybe it was some kind of earthquake," He helped Bella up and the two began looking around. "Well the power's out…what do we do now?" A sudden noise caused both of them to stop talking. "What was that?" Bella whispered, gripping tightly to Edward's arm. The two slowly made their way towards where they heard the noise. "Hello, is anyone there?" Edward called out, but earned no response. "Maybe it was just something falling—"

"Where am I? This isn't castle Nadasdy!" There were muffled footsteps, and then someone else spoke. "Where am I—and who are you? I'm supposed to be in castle Dracula!" There was silence, when the first voice spoke up again. "Who am I? How _dare_ you not know who I am—well, you are a man, so that might explain it…but, I am Countess Elizabeth Bathory; bow before your superior!" There was chuckling, before the second voice spoke up. "It is you who should be scared and bowing to me," There was a scoff. "You should show me with more respect—unless _you _want to be the next one hanging upside down in my basement!"

Edward and Bella exchanged nervous glances between each other. Who was back there, and what were there talking about? The two slowly made their way towards the far back of the living room, Bella quickly running over and pulling the blinds up. "Who let the sunlight in?" The male voice snarled, and hissed. "I did." Bella stated, and she could finally see whom the two talking were;

One was a middle-aged woman, who had honey colored brown hair pulled up into a tight bun. She was pale, but very beautiful and wore a large and long red 15th century dress. The other was a man, who had long black hair that was pulled into a pony-tail. He wore a black outfit, and a black cloak.

"And who are you?" The man snarled, hissing at the sunlight. "I am Bella Swan…who the hell are you?" The man chuckled. "I am Count Vladislaus Dracula…who else might I be?" Edward's jaw dropped. "You mean like the guy from old vampire novels?" The man smirked. "Oh, has my reputation has proceeded me already?" Bella took a step back. "Edward, why won't he go in the sun?" Bella whispered. "Because I'll burn and die—don't you know anything about my kind?" Bella frowned. "But…Edward doesn't burn up—he sparkles!" There was a round of cold laughter coming from the woman. "He sparkles? You mean to tell me a man shines like a woman's wedding ring?" Bella narrowed her eyes. "He's beautiful when he sparkles." The woman continued laughing. "Beautiful? Oh my…" She soon regained her composure and made her way towards Bella; pricking her cheek with a pin from her hair.

Bella flinched from the pain, and could see Dracula getting slightly more interested. The woman looked at the blood drop on the prick and quickly licked it off; smacking her lips as though trying to assess the taste. She soon grimaced, and spat. "You taste disgusting." Edward scoffed. "Bella's blood is delectable." Dracula sneered. "She doesn't smell delectable…she reeks of fear." Bella rolled her eyes. "I'm not scared." The woman gave her a deadly smile. "Oh you should be my dear…because once I'm done with you—they'll be nothing left of that feisty spirit of yours…literally." Edward sneered. "And who are you to say such a thing to her?" The woman laughed. "I am Countess Elizabeth Bathory, pleasure."

Dracula gasped, and walked over to the woman. "So you're the infamous countess that I have so heard about in my later years…well well, it is a pleasure." The woman batted her eyelashes innocently. "Why, I'm glad that I am finally getting the treatment that I deserve." Dracula chuckled. "Yes yes…so, do you have any plans for these two?" Bathory looked at Edward and Bella; looking over both of them closely, as though assessing the best way to deal with them. "Well the girl is obviously mine, but you can take care of that abomination of your spawn if you'd like." Dracula grinned. "Oh it will be a pleasure; no child of mine sparkles in the sun and gets away with it." The two deadly counts then turned, facing Edward and Bella.

"Uh Bella…I think now would be a good time to run." Bella nodded fearfully, and got on Edward's back; he in turn quickly running out of the house with his speed. Bathory hissed, and began running after them but Dracula stopped her. "Wait my dear…we have all the time of the night to retrieve them…once the sun goes down, we shall play."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: When We Start Killing.

Edward quickly carried Bella through the forest, racing as quickly as he could to his family home deep within the woods. "Edward, are you sure that they won't come after us?" Bella whispered frightened about the mere thought of those two that had greeted them at Bella's home. "I'm pretty sure. They would have to be pretty stupid to try and take down my whole family just to get to us." Bella nodded, becoming reassured with the answer. "Good, because I think they would have even killed us if they had a chance!" Edward chuckled, and soon skidded to a halt; Bella sliding off his back as the two made their way into his home. "I don't think that that they could, Bella. Remember, I am a vampire."

"You're not a vampire—you're a sparkly little abomination that needs to be stabbed repeatedly in the heart with a stake." The two whirled around and once again, were face-to-face with Count Dracula and Countess Bathory. Bella made a small squeaking noise and quickly hid behind Edward. "How did you find us?" He snarled, shocked that they had followed the two and he had not realized it. "I'm a vampire too, princess, except I can fly while you cannot…obviously." Dracula sniggered, and Edward made a face. "What do you want with us?" This time Bathory spoke up. "We want to annihilate you, of course." She then smiled and pulled out a dagger from her hair; jabbing it in the direction of Bella.

"Well you can forget about even getting close enough to do that!" Edward hissed, grabbing his beloved and racing into his home. The two counts chuckled cruelly and raced after them—Edward slamming and locking the door shut before they could make it in. "Oh do they really think that a simple door will stop me?" Dracula smirked and transformed into his hell-beast from, bashing through the door with a loud _slam_! Bella screamed and ran off into one of the rooms while Edward stood his ground. Dracula transformed back into his human self, smiling. "That was quite fun. Anyone else I should deal with before focusing on you—?"

There was a sudden gasp and the two counts whirled around the find that five others were standing behind them in the shattered door way. "Who the hell are you?" A man snarled, glaring at the two people who had invaded his house. Bathory sneered and made her way towards him. "We are people that you should be respecting, understand?" She made a face and then placed her dagger under his chin—examining him. The man swatted it away and it landed onto the wooden floor with a loud _clang!_ "How dare you?" Bathory snarled, slapping the man hard…obviously trying to draw blood. The man hissed, and rubbed his face to see that she did indeed draw blood. "Oh looky at what I did!" Bathory giggled like a child, while Dracula merely shrugged. "You didn't really accomplish anything…he's mine too." Bathory stopped and pouted; puffing up her lower lip. "Really, he is?" She looked at the blond man once more. "Oh you vampires are no fun." She smirked, before jabbing one of her daggers into the man's throat. He gasped and began choking on his own blood; making a gurgling sound as he collapsed onto the floor, writhing.

"Carlisle!" A woman shrieked, kneeling down to aid the man. Bathory laughed. "Oh that was fun! I think I might just do it again!" A girl with short brown hair glared at the countess. "You'll pay for what you did to our father." She hissed, baring her teeth. "Oh that was your father? Goodie! I hit the soft spot." She smirked, and grabbed the girl roughly by the hair causing her to hiss and claw at the countess. "Ah ah, now that's enough!" Bathory snapped, slapping the girl roughly. She lifted her head up her hair, the girl hissing in pain. "What is your name?" The girl tried clawing at the woman once more, but she only received a punch in the stomach as response. "Alice…" She mumbled. "I'm going to have fun with you—no, I think I'm going to take that blond one over there." And with that, she tossed Alice to Dracula.

"Why hello there my dear," He said coolly, Alice hissing at him. "Oh now now, that's no way to show your love towards the one who created you. Tell me, do you sparkle like your little fairy brother over there?" Alice glared at the man. "Of course I do. I'm a vampire!" Dracula rolled his eyes. "Thought so…it's a shame really, you are awfully pretty." He then transformed, grabbing her by the face and crushing it. She screamed in agony, and then he pulled out a stake; stabbing her right through the heart, the stake going right through her body. Alice screamed loudly before vanishing in a thick cloud of ashes and smoke. A boy shouted in anger. "You killed her! You killed my sister!" He snarled. "Oh what's the matter, mad?" Dracula toyed, the boy hissing and running towards the count with full speed.

Still in his hell-beast form, Dracula easily maneuvered around the raging boy. "I'm going to kill you!" The boy shouted, charging at Dracula once more—missing again. "And how exactly are you going to do that," Dracula vanished, confusing the angry boy. He re-appeared behind him and grabbed him forcefully with his massive claws; gripping his throat with his large razor sharp teeth and ripping his throat open—causing blood to spew everywhere. "When you're already dead?" Another stake and he too, vanished within a cloud of smoke and ash. The woman mourning on the floor for the man Bathory had killed earlier, looked up and made a shrill sound. "You killed my children! I'll kill you!" Dracula rolled his eyes. "Oh that's what your son said, and look where that got him." The woman prepared to pounce but a dagger at her side stopped her. "Ah, ah, ah! You're going to have to do deal with me, my dear." Bathory said, smirking.

The woman hissed. "You're not going to get away with this, you know?" Bathory raised an eyebrow out of surprise. "Really? I thought we already have." She laughed and pressed the blade harder against her side. "Now tell me, what's your name? Surely it's more elegant than _Alice_." The woman spat in Bathory's face. "My name is Esme Cullen and I am proud mother-figure towards these children." The countess grimaced and spun the woman around, to then cut her swiftly and deeply on her stomach. "It's a real shame that you lot can't heal yourselves once you've been injured like I can." Dracula said, smirking as he made his way towards the two. Esme shrieked loudly from the pain and then collapsed onto the floor; trying desperately to stop the bleeding. "Make sure that she doesn't get away. If they have a basement…tie her up down there." Bathory said smoothly, Dracula taking hold of Esme roughly by the hair—soon dragging her across the floor as he made his way around the house.

"Now it's time to deal with you my pretty," Bathory said, turning to face the last female Cullen standing. The blond girl hissed, her sharp teeth bared. "Don't you dare touch me! You do so and I will make sure that you suffer in the same way that you've made my family do so." Bathory smirked at this. "Oh you're feisty aren't you?" She grabbed the girl by her face and sunk her nails into the soft flesh. The girl snarled from the pain, and Bathory cut her leg to make her shut up. "Now now, don't make me do to you what I did to your poor old daddy down there." She grinned, and prepared to lick the blood off the girls face before the sound of muffled struggling caught her attention. She whirled around to find Dracula dragging that squirming little Swan wench by the mouth with his large demon claws. "Look what I found," He said smirking.

Edward snarled, running over to his only sister remaining. "We have to save Bella," He mumbled, as though no one could hear him. The girl—Rosalie—nodded and the two Cullen's left standing made their way towards Dracula. "Oh look now they're teaming up against me." Dracula said, laughing. Rosalie was the first to attack, but it was futile; Dracula merely swatted her away roughly with one of his large wings. She crashed into the wall and was knocked out. Edward swallowed, concerned about his family member, but he needed to save Bella; that was his main priority. He ran swiftly around the large hell-beast, trying to confuse him. Bella was just within his grasp…_whack!_ He was hit roughly in the face with Dracula's wing and sent flying in the direction of Bathory. She merely giggled when Edward crashed into a glass table; causing hundreds of little cuts to form on his body. "If you take care of _this_," Dracula said, shaking Bella. "I'll take care of _that_," He said, pointing to Edward. "Deal," She laughed, and Dracula nodded; tossing Bella to her while he flew over towards Edward. He picked up his body and soon sank his large teeth into Edward's neck. Bella screamed in pure fear and sorrow as she watched Dracula drain all the "blood" our of Edward's body. "Hmm…how to finish you off exactly…" Dracula murmured, spitting some of Edward's blood at the walls. He cocked his head to the side, and then flew up near the ceiling, tossing Edward roughly to the ground causing the floor to collapse inward from the sudden force. "Now, the final blow, Dracula mused, flying down and picking up the limp body. Before Edward could do anything, he was crushed under the massive weight of Dracula's large feet; his bones crunched and bits flying on the walls. Dracula grinned and continued to stomp on the over-killed body until it was a mere pile of blood and guts.

"Oh that was amazing!" Bathory gushed, fangirling over the whole incident. Dracula transformed back into his human form and smiled. "Oh it was nothing really—now what exactly are you going to do with her?" Bathory turned and smiled evilly at Bella. "Oh I have just the thing…"

* * *

**Author's Note: SO…I live! Sorry for making this chapter come out so fucking late but things have been iffy around here and they have been putting me off writing (Anything, really) and talking to any of my friends. So—don't think that I merely forgot about these stories, and you, my friends and reviewers! So, anyways, this chapter was gory and just plain cruel…to Twilight characters and fans of course XD I hope that you liked this long chapter, oh and next on Bathory and Dracula's torture list…? Bella Swan and Jacob Black of course! :D Review and favorite, thanks!**


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